I feel old

I don't know why but when I walked home from a friends house tonight I felt really old. I was just walking along, occasionally checking out the people I was seeing, and they all seemed to be really young. Faces, expressions, attitudes, and just everything. Maybe its just because they're so many freshmen wandering about during the first week of school, but it just seemed like everywhere I looked there was someone just... young.

I don't really party anymore, I mean, on occasion I do, but for the most part when someone asks me about my Friday night my response involves work or something that I worked on. I guess I've always kinda been like that, but more so now-a-days. I feel like if I don't work on something and be 'productive' that I'm almost wasting my time. This doesn't apply to all situations, I mean, if I hang out with my girlfriend then I'm not wasting time by any stretch of the phrase. But if I'm at school, it just seems like everything besides my work is a distraction. Eating, sleeping, and sometimes just dealing with day to day social communication with the strangers I have to help because of my positions in certain organizations. Its all just a distraction from that one project I want to work on.

I guess I'm some kind of work-a-holic or something, but if I'm not bettering myself or learning something, then why am I at school? I guess that's sorta my attitude to it all. Maybe that's why I feel like so many other people are young when I look at them. They're out and about having a great time just being stupid, well not stupid, but spending their time partying and trying to find their next bit of adrenaline. Eventually the feelings going to run out for those people and they're going to need to find something that actually fulfills them more than for just a single night. I don't know, maybe I'm just an old man who should have stopped living on campus.