Caring and workaholic

Do you ever wonder about the lies we tell ourselves to stay happy?

I think everyone does it, you tell yourself a little white lie so that you don't have to feel bad about something. Sometimes the lies are a bit bigger though. I think one of the lies I tell myself is the amount that other people care for me is larger than it really is.

Life is busy, everyone's got their own issues to deal with. So I typically don't expect my issues to take precedence over anyone elses. But wouldn't it be nice sometimes? I guess what got me thinking about this is something that isn't really comparable, but sentimentally is.

Yesterday around 5 my friend M called me from the ER. She doesn't like hospitals and I had seen her the day before and she had hit her head. I had told her to go to the hospital and get checked, but she waited. So then there I was in the ER keeping my friend company because she hates hospitals. Turns out, she did have a concussion. I'm happy she called me though. She and I are both workaholics and do too much sometimes and our personal welfare takes a sideline seat to the main event of our lives. Which is work. Oddly enough, her being concussed is the only thing that actually made her stop and try to take care of herself. And ditto on me. I work a lot to stay preoccupied. And plus I don't really have much to do when I'm not working. I think the only time I take care of myself is when I'm in a relationship because I have someone else to live for and think about besides myself.

So yeah, I've been in and out of clinics for the past month dealing with my own issues and it's just stupid how tired of Doctors and counselors I am. I just want to work and not have to deal with any of this emotional personal crap. It's far too draining and distracting from my career.


Also, I've recently started listening to MCR again. Fuck me right?