Broken Down

Today my friend and I were out for a drive. From Ohio to NH, we broke down in NY. My friend had been meaning to change his oil soon, and was planning on doing it when we in NH. Unfortunately, the engine began overheating and we had to pull over to the side of the road. After checking the dipstick we noticed that there wasn't any oil left in the engine. So I called a Tow and we put some oil in the car. Unfortunately, that wasn't the problem. It was the source of the real problem though.

We blew a hole in the engine block. A piston, or fuel rod, or something in the crankshaft had blown a pretty large hole straight through the engine. It's miraculous we got the car over to the road and shutoff before it messed itself up even more. Moral of the story, don't delay important things like oil for a car. My friend loved his car, it was well maintained and had 10K+ miles on it from him alone. If we had put oil in it before we left Ohio, then we would have been perfectly fine. Unfortunately such is life.

I also was reassured of my crisis situation skills today. I'm hardly ever placed in a position of danger, or problematic situations. I do a good job of avoiding drama and sketchy operations. But when it comes to it I almost always have a level head. I say almost because one time when my friend told me about how my friends' ex (then girlfriend) was treating him it pissed me off immensely and I was ready to call her and give her a piece of my mind, but then logic prevailed and I didn't. Anyway though, I stayed calm the whole time. Calling my insurance and calling my family for assistance.

Also, the optimist in me definitely showed. I was seeing silver lining everywhere. Yeah, the car died, beyond repair. But at least we were safe, close to an exit and had family willing to help us. Also, we got to spend some time together just being away from home. I'm in a hotel right now, and it's nice to just be traveling with a friend. Yeah, we won't be traveling too much for a bit, but hey, just one more story to recount sometime.

Alexithymia is a pretty interesting psychological trait/illness. The doctors aren't even sure if it's an illness or just a personality trait. I took one of the online quizes from the wikipedia page, got 117, which indicates high Alexithymia traits. There was a breakdown category and I showed no Externally-oriented thinking symptons or sexual difficulties or disinterest symptons, but was high in all the other categories. Pretty interesting I think. Sometimes I feel like I don't express my emotions very well or that I can't find the right words to say. But other times I have no problem whatever, if I did have Alexithymia, I'd probably be showing signs of the secondary alexithymia. which is state dependent.

Then again, whenever someone with a good imagination reads about an interesting disease they probably start looking for symptons in themselves. And most 'disorders' are really easy to find with the right examples in pretty much anyone. Glad I'm not a pysch major, I hear after you take an abnormal pysch class you're pretty much doomed to prescriptions haha.

Emotions make no sense, and I think that might be why I enjoy thinking about them and trying to 'figure' them out I suppose. I mean, if you wanted to break it down, its all chemical and electrical in the end. But if you went that far, then you'd probably find no point in living anymore, but that in itself, that you need to have a point to live or whatever is something I don't think you can explain with Science alone. Its like thinking about whether or not a human has a 'soul' or not. And what makes us conscious beings. When I was younger I used to sit and think (I was a quiet baby as well, didn't cry much) about if people saw the world the same as I did. Whether someone else's blue was the same as my blue or if we just happened to call them the same thing. If someone was taught that blue was red there whole life they wouldn't understand how anyone could tell them differently. Its like learning a new language. Only we al speak/see our own. Thinking about that stuff always made me with that I could swap bodies with someone and see through their eyes and understand walking in their shoes (literally). Specifically, I always wanted to switch with my friend Susan and find out how girls were different from boys. I was rather innocent at the time, considering I was in kindergarden, but it's such a fascinating idea. How do other people see the world? How do I know that you know something? Whose to say that my mind/eyes aren't just playing one big joke on me. Its enough to keep one awake for a while. I could probably talk myself in circles that way.