Equations of God

There is something elegant about math, or rather, physics really. That equations and numbers can estimate what might and will happen given certain forces are applied. So, if you can predict the behavior of a neuron firing? And neurons firing controls us, then shouldn't you be able to have an equation that predicts human behavior?

You'd think so. But what makes it impossible? Or at least, difficult. What triggers the firings? In my opinion, reactions. So what get's a reaction? An action. And what triggers an action? A reaction, or I suppose, a preaction in that case. But every action is a preaction for an action, and every preaction is a reaction to an action. It's like the chicken and the egg.

So I suppose in the long run, if you knew what sparked the big bang,crunch, or really whatever made the universe then you could predict every reaction to that action. The list of equations would be huge. That system, if solved would probably spell out god's name or something. Either way, I think it's interesting. It makes the daily crap we have to go through in our lives easier to maintain.

Big things behave like little things, isn't that odd? I read somewhere, that black holes orbiting each other, and other very large objects, or I suppose very massive objects orbiting one another result in the same pattern as an electron orbiting a nucleus. Wouldn't it be something if the massive objects were just atoms to something else? What if, god was nothing more than the particular cellular structure of such massive proportions that it's atoms had to be rendered by galaxy's and super massive astronomical objects?

Conjecture, and fantasy aside.

Human beings, need companionship to live a healthy live. It's a simple fact. You can't make it alone in this world, and if you can. We'll you're just fucking special aren't you? Or schizophrenic. Lately, I've been feeling like I've lost my companions. My roommate, switched from a unlimited dining hall meal plan, to a points system. So we eat in vastly different places now, because of this, he hangs out with our mutual 'friend', hmm let's call him Pip. Pip, is an arrogant snob, who'd I'd personally like to see spaghettified by a black hole. He's not a terrible person, in fact I considered myself friends with him, and would still list him as an acquaintance if pressured, however. Something about him just irks me and pushes all of my buttons. So I try not to hang out with him.

But, my roommate doesn't share this dislike. And plays video games and hangs out with him all the time. If Pip didn't have a girlfriend, then I'd consider both of them homosexual since I came back to my room once and they door locked and it looked like I was interrupting something between them, as well as the fact that they left very soon after I came back from classes. Anyway, the bottom line of it all is.

I want my friend back. Last year, we hung out all the time, and were very close. Our friends never saw us anywhere without seeing the other most of the time. If one of us was around, chances were that the other was 50ft within range. That carried over this year. I go to a friend's dorm, they used to ask me where my roommate was. I'd make up some excuse, although most of mine were always better than his. Oh, he has to homework, oh, an essay, something came up right before we left, etc etc. As oppose to his, which are always, hm no I don't feel like it, or I don't want to.

It's not like I don't make an effort, or I'm excluding him. I'm not giving him any cause to hate me, I think. But I can't help but feel like he does sometimes. When I come back into the room, I say hi to him, I ask him how his day was and if anything cool happen. I know nobody likes it when their mother does it to them for 18 years, but still, I like it when my friends ask me about my well being,. I like talking to people. Social interaction is important.

But, he'll come into the room, and not even say a word. He'll sit at his desk with his headphones on listening to music and reading the internet forums. Just shutting the world, shutting me, out. I do try, if he has headphones on, I ask him why he doesn't play music for both of us, or if he found any new music lately. Some way of getting him to just open up a little and be less reclusive.
It's funny of course, my talking about him being reclusive. He drinks, when he goes out, or on Fridays when he's with Pip. They drink and play call of duty. I know, I sat in before on the first or second weekend of school and gave it a chance.

While it's amusing to watch a lightweight girl get smashed and make a fool of herself, it's not part of my lifestyle, and unfortunately for my social networking, it never really will be. Anyway, I feel like I'm losing him as a friend. The last few night's I've been up late thinking about it, and I always seem to break down after a while. Normally repeating some sentence that will bring me to tears so that I can just let something out. Let myself know that I still feel and have physical responses to them. But I suppose, that's another blog.

This started out as how our problems are insignificant to the greater scheme of things. But, the human race will probably die out soon, so I guess this stuff is important in the small scheme of Earth things.