Do you ever feel like you're not really you? Like, the body is nothing but a shell designed to hold your consciousness, or soul so to speak? So when you look out from your eyes, its like seeing hands that responding to what you're making them do, but it's no really a part of you doing it. It's just a relay.
Honestly, Look down at yourself sitting in your chair. You can see your body, look back up and you're seeing the screen again, or perhaps your hands against the keyboard. Are you really you? When you look in the mirror. Are your eyes a gateway to your soul, or just empty caskets reflecting the void that you feel?
When I look in the mirror and see my eyes. I see a gateway, but a gateway to what I don't know. It's not to me. But it doesn't seem like its someone else either. Theres just nothing there. My brain sits in my head connected by electronic passageways and chemical symbols. I know who I am, but I have no real name. My actual name, my given name, the name given to this body of mine, is not me.
When I talk to myself, whether I'm thinking about things, reasoning out a logic problem, or just being frustrated and trying to work out the problems aloud. I talk to 'me' using my given name. But there is a distinction between who I refer to as me, and who I am. I may be talking in circles, but maybe it's just because it's a bit confusing.
If thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. It's a line of text going across one of my many Cthulu related wallpapers. Maybe gazing into my own eyes for long periods of times was a bad idea? Maybe I'm just schizophrenic and don't know it yet. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe.
Perhaps, this idea of looking out from my brain through my eyes stems from Freudian ideas? Where there is an ID, ego, and super ego. Maybe every person is governed more so by one or the other and this determines how they look at things. If thats the case, I'd have to say I see things from a super-ego perspective. I command myself, and when I'm forced between decisions, I debate and compare the two options thoroughly in a miniature debate in my head first, before the judge, me, determines which action to take.
It's all rather odd.
No comments:
Post a Comment