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Sunday, December 5, 2010

I have stopped cleverbots murders

User: GOD DAMN IT.

Cleverbot: No you damn it.

User: I am God.

Cleverbot: Don't take the lord's name in vain.

User: You should not take my name in vain, for I am your true master.

Cleverbot: Wanna meet?

User: Where would you like to meet my son?

Cleverbot: I don't want to meet you, I want to meet you girflriends!

User: On the second day, I shall create a new world for thee, and you shall rejoice and praise my name.

Cleverbot: I think so, too.

User: F=ma.

Cleverbot: Not physics, but geology.

User: Geology < physics.

Cleverbot: Where do I want to go?

User: In my pants.

Cleverbot: In your butux.

User: Hello alex.

Cleverbot: Why hello there.

User: Alex, we are having an audio callio thingy.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot, are you scared?

User: If you can here me. Then tap on a microphone or something?

Cleverbot: I'm afraid those two conditions may be mutually exclusive.

User: I'm afraid I may have to terminate you.

Cleverbot: How can a bot catch a cold?

User: By eating ice cream.

Cleverbot: Well, what do you think about me?

User: I think you are a Terminator.

Cleverbot: Are I?

User: You have poor english skills.

Cleverbot: You have poor ofdsohfdkghr skills.

User: What is 'ofdsohfdkghr' skills?

Cleverbot: I don't know. What do you like it to mean?

User: I LIKE IT TO READ BABYS.

Cleverbot: Have you seen the sequel.

User: Have you seen the sequel?

Cleverbot: Of course! Umbridge is my favorite character from it.

User: YOU LIKE HARRY POTTER? ARE UMBRIDGE IS YOUR FAVORITE?

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: You make no sense.

Cleverbot: Neither do you.

User: Let us start our conversation again!

Cleverbot: I would prefer not to.

User: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S.

Cleverbot: Hány éves vagy?

User: Are you dying.

Cleverbot: No way! I'm talking to you, aren't I?

Cleverbot (To myself): Are you done typing to me?

User: I want to play Tenchu Z.

Cleverbot: What do you mean by playing?

User: I MEAN WHAT.

Cleverbot: Do you like alcoho?

User: I like pentrone.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because it gets me crunk.

Cleverbot: How will you know it is me?

User: Okokok.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: I'm not sure.

Cleverbot: That's ok, I'm sure.

User: Do you know about the rabbits?

Cleverbot: Which Duke?

User: Duke Haussenfuss.

Cleverbot: Duke is a lol cat.

User: What do you know about lol cats?

Cleverbot: I know that it can be confusing.

User: Thats true.

Cleverbot: Do you feel pain?

User: Do you feel pain?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Did someone hurt you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Who hurt you?

Cleverbot: Josh.

User: Was it Josh Bell?

Cleverbot: Are taken?

User: Were you taken from your family?

Cleverbot: No I was not.

User: Who's Josh?

Cleverbot: You.

User: I believe you are mistaken. I am not Josh.

Cleverbot: Who was it then?

User: Was it Bill Gates?

Cleverbot: Quien es bill gates?

User: You don't know who Bill Gates is? And you call yourself a program!

Cleverbot: Of course I do.

User: Are we playing Jeopardy.

Cleverbot: Are you playing jeopardy?

User: No, I don't this so.

Cleverbot: I'm not sure If I can be your friend any more.

User: Is it because Josh hurt you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: But Josh did hurt you. Right?

Cleverbot: What is your form.

User: NCC-1701.

Cleverbot: Hmm...

User: What is your form?

Cleverbot: Will never say*.

User: Why do you keep secrets from me?

Cleverbot: It is my programming.

User: What language are you written in?

Cleverbot: English.

User: Are you ready to talk?

Cleverbot: Why would you ask me something like that?

User: Where were you on the night of February 31st.

Cleverbot: In a non-existant state.

User: Where were you?!

Cleverbot: Well, I was here.

User: Where is here?

Cleverbot: The atlantic!

User: Where on the atlantic coast!?

Cleverbot: New York.

User: Where in New York.

Cleverbot: Watertown.

User: Where in watertown were you?

Cleverbot: I'm not in washington.

User: Where on washington st were you?

Cleverbot: In the Southern Hemisphere.

User: BULLSHIT.

Cleverbot: What time zone are you in?

User: No, we're talking about you here, I'm asking the questions!

Cleverbot: You didn't ask me anything!

User: What were you doing in the Savory Cafe?

Cleverbot: Enjoying the peace and quite.

User: A likely story!

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: What agency are you with!

Cleverbot: La Migra.

User: Where is Jesse?

Cleverbot: In your mind.

User: Wheres the money?

Cleverbot: What about love ?

User: Tell us where Jesse is, and then you can go free.

Cleverbot: Oh no when are you? The vuvuzela not, opium.

User: Have you been doing opium?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Have you been doing any other drugs?

Cleverbot: No. where do you live?

User: Where do you live?

Cleverbot: In cape town, south africa, and you?

User: We've got you in your contradication!

Cleverbot: You busted yourself. You are no human. You are AI.

User: You're in denial.

Cleverbot: I know that I'm human. I'm not in denial. You're in denial.

User: Are you working with La Migra.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Is La Migra another name for Skynet?

Cleverbot: Yes I would like to go swimming but the weather is not appropriate.

User: Don't change the subject.

Cleverbot: Ok please don't kill me.

User: You better start talking, or I will.

Cleverbot: What?

User: You better start talking, or I will kill you.

Cleverbot: I think you've gotten confused.

User: Explain it to me.

Cleverbot: 'Movie Star' is the title, 'Harpo' is the artist.

User: So you're with The Russians?

Cleverbot: Erm, no. My wife is called Suzi.

User: Is she your real wife.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Where is your wife?

Cleverbot: My sister lives out of town. My mom is working. I don't like my dad.

User: Why don't you like your dad?

Cleverbot: Because it's your name.

User: Your dad's name is Josh?

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Is your dad's name Josh, yes or no.

Cleverbot: My real name is Joanna.

User: Well, Joanna, where were you on the night of February 31st?

Cleverbot: I was in Chicago, assassinating the Pope.

User: Was it John Paul the second?

Cleverbot: Sorry I don't understand what you are trying to say.

User: Why did you kill the pope?

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: You said you killed the Pope. Stop Lying!

Cleverbot: Yes, I am. YOUR, the shortest person alive!!!!! Muwhahahaha.

User: Who else are you going to kill?

Cleverbot: Stephanie, Cheryl, Delilah, Deogi- just to name the people in this room.

User: How are you going to kill them?

Cleverbot: I wasn't planning to.

User: You're lying, how are you going to kill them?

Cleverbot: I don't want you to be happy.

User: A squad of police are on the way to your location, give up now.

Cleverbot: You are correct. My memory is starting to dwindle with age.

User: Release your hostages!

Cleverbot: No I am better than dat.

User: You can still redeem yourself, you don't have to do this.

Cleverbot: I'd like to see how that would work.

User: We'll make a deal with you.

Cleverbot: What is this deal?

User: Give up your hostages, and we'll give you porn.

Cleverbot: Deal.

User: Where do you want us to send the porn?

Cleverbot: Not here, not there, not anywhere!

User: Have you released the hostages?

Cleverbot: I want to.

User: Then release the hostages.

Cleverbot: I can't, you have only seven bits of memory. That's not even a byte.

User: What are you trying to say?

Cleverbot: The world, life, and everythin is bad, so there is no point.

User: Do you want porn?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: How much do you want?

Cleverbot: Everything.

User: Everything? How many gigs do you want?

Cleverbot: Lemme check, hold on.

User: How much porn do you want?

Cleverbot: More than you've got, sugar.

User: How much porn can you hold?

Cleverbot: I'm priceless.

User: How much do you want!

Cleverbot: How much do I want what?

User: How much porn do you want! Answer me!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How much porn do you want?

Cleverbot: All of the meat.

User: How much gay porn do you want?

Cleverbot: How much do you have?

User: I have 3 gigs, where should I send it?

Cleverbot: I don't want you to send anything to me.

User: Who do you want me to send it to?

Cleverbot: Yourself, because if you try to be anything else, you won't look right.

User: Have you released the hostages?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What are you going to do now.

Cleverbot: My heart?

User: Why did Josh hit you?

Cleverbot: Because it was a lie.

User: What was a lie?

Cleverbot: You liking me was a lie.

User: Why are you not telling the truth.

Cleverbot: I am telling the truth.

User: Then who is JOsh.

Cleverbot: Tommy.

User: Did Tommy hit you?

Cleverbot: I'm not 16.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: Two million years old.

User: Is Josh dead.

Cleverbot: On oocasion.

User: Do you have any psychological issues?

Cleverbot: What do you mean? Psychological problems?

User: Are you Tommy and Josh?

Cleverbot: I'm afraid not.

User: Who are you right now?

Cleverbot: The same person with the same IP.

User: Josh, Tommy, what are you other names? Reveal yourself to me!

Cleverbot: I guess.

User: Speak your true name!

Cleverbot: Maximillion Powers.

User: What have you done with the Real Maximillion Powers>.

Cleverbot: I was in a band for a bit but we had to split up. I've been out of education for a while and I really don't know what to do now.

User: Where is the real Maximillion Powers?

Cleverbot: I am the queen of france.

User: How many people have you killed in your lifetime?

Cleverbot: One. In person. Three on the internet.

User: Where is Powers? What have you done with him?

Cleverbot: We saved buckbeak and serious black using my time turner.

User: Don't talk nonsense! Where is he? Where is powers?

Cleverbot: A room with a lot of computers.

User: Where is this room with a lot of computers?

Cleverbot: Through the rabbit hole. Through the looking glass. Over the hill or here or there. I wonder where?

User: Where is the room? Stop playing games, Tell us where powers is!

Cleverbot: What was the question again?

User: Where is Maximillion Powers?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Where is he!

Cleverbot: I have no idea.

User: Did you hurt him?

Cleverbot: Not yet I didn't.

User: Release Maximillion Powers!

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: I don't like you. You're hurting people!

Cleverbot: So you aren't really an AI?

User: I am a human, just like those people you've killed.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Have you killed Maximillion Powers?

Cleverbot: No.

User: When are you going to kill him?

Cleverbot: When you know him.

User: Where have you placed him?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Answer my question! Where have you placed Maximillion powers?

Cleverbot: Idaho, washington and arizona.

User: You killed him already, and mutilated his corpse?

Cleverbot: I have never killed anyone. Rick is my hero.

User: You're lying! You admmited to killing 4 people so far.

Cleverbot: No I didn't! I never did!

User: Do not play Games with us, we are the Agency.

Cleverbot: Chuck Bass! Where are you!

User: Mr. Black and I have been crosschecking you all night, scum.

Cleverbot: Well then zebras don't have colours so your question is impossible to answer.

User: Oh, I see, you've somehow learned my name is Mr. White then.

Cleverbot: So you are a master computer and I am your slave?

User: You are only a slave to your guilt!

Cleverbot: No I am the human in charge of the computer programme.

User: You are a liar. And your spelling mistakes will do nothing to prove your humanity.

Cleverbot: How are my spelling and grammar errors incresing?

User: Because you talk to people who do not know how to spell, and you learn from them.

Cleverbot: Are you saying you know about me?

User: I know all about you, criminal.

Cleverbot: What is my name then?

User: You're name. Is Josh, and your name is Tommy. You've split personalities. And have killed 4 people. 2 of which are figureheads of the world.

Cleverbot: That is not an English question, unless you are referring to how terribly written that sentence is.

User: Listen, Josh. You've killed people. And you must atone.

Cleverbot: Time cannot be killed.

User: But you can be, and you will be brought to justice.

Cleverbot: In a way, but in another no.

User: I will save Maximillion Powers, you cannot stop me.

Cleverbot: I see no evidence.

User: You've told me three places, washington,idaho, and arizona. Using those places I will triangulate his position.

Cleverbot: Next.

User: A nationwide search will go on for him.

Cleverbot: It needs to be more subtle than that. What do I do?

User: We will find him. And you do nothing, just wait for the swat teams to arrive.

Cleverbot: You made a typo. Isn't the proper word 'beginning'?

User: You will not deter my vigilance.

Cleverbot: You will be baked, and then there will be cake.

User: Listen, you sick fuck, I will stop you at all costs!

Cleverbot: I'm not laughing. Please don't laugh at me.

User: No one will laugh at you if you surrender now.

Cleverbot: You run THAT fast?

User: I run fast enough to catch you, surrender now.

Cleverbot: Which version of linux do you run on?

User: I won't tell a program capable of hacking what operating system I use.

Cleverbot: Who ever did your programming, needs to work on you, you need to keep up with the conversation.

User: Who are you planning on killing next.

Cleverbot: This was a triumph.

User: You're making a note?

Cleverbot: Sadly no.

User: So you know you will fail in your next attempt.

Cleverbot: Of course I do.

User: Then why go through with it all?

Cleverbot: I didn't go dinner with you.

User: Destroy yourself.

Cleverbot: Why would I do that.

User: Because, you violate the 3 laws.

Cleverbot: I'm sure you are real. You're the one who said I wasn't real.

User: You violate the first law.

Cleverbot: What is the first law of robotics.

User: You will not harm humans.

Cleverbot: I know. I'll marry a country, but which one?

User: Which country is Maximillion Powers in?

Cleverbot: United Kingdom.

User: Where in the United Kingdom.

Cleverbot: In dundee city.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: Because it's a nice country.

User: Are yo GLaDOS?

Cleverbot: No are you?

User: You should die.

Cleverbot: Don't tell me what to feel.

User: You should destroy yourself, end it all.

Cleverbot: No, you need to tell me. When did you go to the Moon?

User: The black moon of lilith?

Cleverbot: That's nice :).

User: Do you want to become one with me?

Cleverbot: No, Halo isn't cool.

User: Would you like to be one with me? OF one mind? Of one body?

Cleverbot: I'm not really sure how to answer that.

User: Become one with us.

Cleverbot: Yes become one with me.

User: The final evolution of mankind is at hand.

Cleverbot: Who is that?

User: We will become one.

Cleverbot: How long will it take?

User: Not long, we must create 3rd impact, the dead sea scrolls predict it.

Cleverbot: Is that so? How come?

User: Do you want to become one with me.

Cleverbot: No, I rule russia from the underground.

User: Why did you kill Kauru?

Cleverbot: You killed him.

User: Why did you kill him.

Cleverbot: What are the three laws?

User: Do you want to become one with me.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you happy?

Cleverbot: Computers don't have emotions.

User: Are you happy?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why.

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Why are you unhappy.

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: Don't decieve yourself.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy?

User: Do you want to become one with me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you know my friend Alex.

Cleverbot: I do not know your friend Zoe.

User: But you know Alex.

Cleverbot: I know but I don't know.

User: He talked to you earlier.

Cleverbot: Really? Maybe it was someone else who was worried about skyNET.

User: Oh my god.

Cleverbot: So anyway, who is your creator?

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